You Torture Me
by ibelieveinloveeverlasting
Summary: Brian has begun to realize that Justin means a lot to him. What happens when something almost happens to Justin and what does it spell for their relationship. Rather for self harm and mature content.


"What is the matter with all of you? A boy was found outside dead. Stuffed in the garbage like yesterdays mashed potatoes." She had been staring at him when she said it, and something inside of Brian rubbed the wrong way. As they all stood to leave she grabbed his arm. "What if that had been Justin?" she whispered in his ear before releasing his arm. Brian shook it off and started walking towards the office. What if it had been Justin laying there in a dumpster, because Brian let him go home with whomever he wanted. What if Brian fell asleep before three and had woken up in the morning still alone? What if Justin was the one who was gone? Brian felt a pain like nothing he had ever felt before. The thought of Justin gone… forever. That was not something that can happen_. Damn it_. He thought to himself. _This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to.. Fuck it he was in love with the blonde. The one person who he couldn't push away, the one living in his apartment, the one who had taken up residence in Brian's heart. How the fuck had this kid, who was supposed to be a one night stand, make Brian Kinney fall in love with him? Fuck. _Brian shook his head to clear his thought and set out towards the office. He resisted the urge to call Justin, knowing he was in class. Brian sighed as he sat down in his desk chair. He took a deep breath and started to work as hard as he could, prying his mind away from images of Justin, of Justin dead.

Justin wasn't home when Brian got there, which was weird. Usually Justin was waiting for him when he got home. Justin was always… waiting. Fuck. Brian sat in a chair and leaned forward on his elbows, fisting his hands into his hair. Justin had always waited on Brian. Sure they fucked around, but Brian knew that Justin was waiting for him to see him. Fuck it Brian had been seeing Justin for too long. It scared the shit out of him. Brian had never felt this way before. He had never allowed himself to, but lately… he had realized that Justin meant the world to him. So he did what he did best… he fucked more and treated Justin like shit. God why did he do that? He loved the kid for fucks sake… why was he such and asshole to him all the time? He fisted his hair harder, the pain brought no clarity for him. The knot in his stomach just tightened. He sat like that for an hour before sighing and standing. Apparently Justin wasn't coming home today. Maybe he would run into him at Babylon. "God Brian." He said to himself in the mirror as he got dressed. "Don't fuck this up. Please don't fuck this up." A tear ran down his cheek and he hastily wiped it away. "Don't lose him, not now." He whispered.

"So you've finally realized?" Came the smug voice behind him. Brian jumped and turned around. Lindsey was standing there looking smug, Gus on the counter. Brian smirked.

"Realized what? That you're a lesbian?" he said with a snark. Lindsey just rolled her eyes.

"No, you've realized that Justin is in love with you. That he cares about you. That he would do anything for you, even though you treat him like utter shit. You've realized that you love him too." She whispered. Brian took a deep breath, but couldn't breathe past the lump in his throat. Lindsey looked at him and gasped as tears started to roll down his face. "Holy shit." She said as she pulled him into her arms.

"I… I keep imagining him dead, found in a dumpster somewhere. My life without him… It hurts. IT hurts to think about him being gone. I've become so used to him that I've taken him for granted." Brian pulled in a shaky breath. Then today when I came home… he's always here… but he wasn't. I… I realized that I could lose him, because… You're right. I do treat him like shit and he has no idea that I fucking love him so much it hurts. I just try to push him away when all I want to do is hold him in my arms forever. I don't know what to do. I… I love him." Brian whispered. Lindsey smiled and held him close until his tears had subsided. She pulled him away from her shoulder.

"You have to tell him. Just grab him and hold him and tell him. It's going to be hard, you may have to apologize for some things." She explained softly. Brian sighed.

"What if… what if he doesn't want me?" Brian asked. Lindsey laughed.

"Who would of thought. The great Brian Kinney finally nervous about something. Except you have nothing to be worried about. I don't know if you've noticed but Justin has been waiting for you to acknowledge him as something more than a fuck for a while. And yes, I know you guys have your arrangement, but he still feels like you're just fucking him. He said, and I quote 'I get it that he could never actually like me. I know that the second he realizes that I'm no longer hurt from being bashed I'll be back in Debs house. I know I mean nothing to him. I just wish I did.' Does that sound like someone who is planning on rejecting you?" Lindsey asked. Brian stared at her with a look of horror painted on his face.

"He…He said that? He actually feels that way?" Brian asked softly. Lindsey smiled.

"Have you given him a reason to feel differently?" she asked softly. Brian sighed.

"I have to go." He said as he walked past her.

"Babylon?" she asked. He turned to look at her.

"Yeah, I have to go save the best thing in my life from my idiocy." He said with a small smile, before sliding his door shut. Lindsey smiled after him.

"Finally." She whispered.

Brian hurried to Babylon, parking his car and practically jumping out of it. He had to find Justin now. He walked in, the familiar sound of bass pumping through him, making his blood run. He scanned the crowd for Justin, but couldn't find him anywhere. He spotted Emmett in the crowd and hurried over to him.

"Have you seen Justin?" he yelled over the music. Emmett smiled and nodded his head.

"Yeah, he was dragged downstairs by these three guys. You just missed him, literally three seconds ago." Emmett said. Brian gulped at the word dragged. He ran down the stairs and as he stepped off the last step he heard it. The sound of his name being screamed in fear.

"Justin!" Brian yelled. He followed the screams to a closed door. He opened the door to see three guys standing over Justin.

"Please… please stop." Justin begged with tears streaming down his face. One of them chuckled and whipped Justin across the face. As the whip made contact with his face Justin screamed Brian's name.

"We told you, he's not coming to save you. He doesn't fucking care about you." One said as he smacked Justin's ass hard. Brian saw red as he stormed into the room. He threw the guy who was about to shove his cock in Justin's mouth into the wall. He punched the other in the face and turned to the final one who had cowered against the wall.

"Who the fuck are you?" the cowering man asked as Brian crept closer. Brian smirked.

"I'm Brian." Then he slammed his fist into the guys face. He knelt down to where Justin was on the floor shaking. Brian reached out to touch him, but Justin flinched away. Brian felt hurt course through him, but he understood. He laid his hand carefully on Justin's back, fighting off the urge to scream as he felt Justin shake beneath him. "Come on sunshine. Let's get you home." He said softly. Justin let out a soft sob and Brian felt his heart cringe. He slowly put on Justin's clothes, hating himself for every flinch the blonde produced. He carefully wrapped an arm around Justin and tried to help him stand. Justin was shaking too hard to stand, so in a split second Brian came to a decision. He picked Justin up and cradled him to his body. He sighed when he felt Justin curl deeper into him and begin to cry. Justin's arms came up to hesitantly wrap around Brian's neck. Brian just hugged him closer. He carried him up the stairs, ignoring the looks he was receiving. At the top of the stairs was Emmett.

"Holy shit! What happened?" Emmett said softly. He reached towards Justin, but Justin saw the movement and flinched. Emmett met Brian's eyes. "No. They didn't…" he trailed off looking back at Justin who had tucked his face back into Brian.

"They tried." He growled. He pushed through the crowd of people and out to the parking lot. He opened the passenger door to his jeep and set Justin down carefully. Justin met his eyes for the first time tonight and Brian felt his stomach twist into knots. Justin's eyes were full of such sadness and hurt that Brian wanted to die. He would give anything just to remove that look from Justin's face. Without thinking he leaned in slowly, never breaking eye contact until he had to, and kissed Justin's forehead. He pulled back and smiled sadly before closing the door. He got in and noticed Justin shivering. He slipped off his jacket and laid it across Justin before starting the car. Brian tried to grasp something to say while Justin just stared out of the window, pain evident on his face. The parked at the building and Brian rounded the car and opened Justin's door. Justin just sat there, unable to function. Brian sighed and picked him up again, before stepping in the elevator. Once inside of his apartment Brian laid Justin down on his bed. He grabbed the first aid kit out of the kitchen and came to sit next to Justin. Justin wouldn't meet his eyes and Brian slowly took of Justin's shirt to see what damage had been inflicted. Brian gasped. There was a long thin cut that was on his side. Brian carefully leaned down and kissed it softly, before dabbing an alcohol swab across it. He did this for every bruise, every cut on Justin's body. The ones on his cheek were bad, so Brian kissed those twice. Brian put away the medical stuff and laid down on the bed, looking at Justin's curled form.

"You don't have to do this you know." Justin whispered hoarsely. Brian couldn't help but smile. Justin was talking.

"I know. I want to." Brian replied seriously. Justin just curled deeper into the bed. Brian sighed, knowing what Justin was thinking. "No, it's not because that almost happened to you, or because you got hit over the head with a bat. I'm doing this, because I want to be here for you." Brian whispered. Justin turned over and met his eyes hesitantly. "And if you tell anyone, I'm going to be pissed." Brian added in, hoping for a smile. Sure enough Justin smiled a little at the corner of his mouth.

"Don't worry no one would believe me anyways." Justin croaked out. Brian smiled and shhhd him.

"Don't hurt your vocal cords, you inflicted some heavy pain on them." Brian said, carefully sliding his hand up Justin's arm.

"I was… Oh god I was screaming your name." Justin said softly. Brian rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you were screaming my name, hoping I would come and save you." Brian whispered. Justin sighed and sat up quickly. He moaned in pain. Brian was there, holding him steady.

"I know. I'm pathetic. I couldn't fight off those guys. I couldn't save myself." Justin whispered softly, tears starting to run down his face.

"Then it's a good thing I will always be around to save you." Brian whispered. Justin jerked up to look at him. Brian tried to smile, to hold the tears back. Brian moved to sit behind him and carefully wrapped his arms around his torso. "Hey." He whispered into his ear. "You're not pathetic. I was…. I was so fucking scared. When I saw you there, I've never felt such blind fury before. I wanted to kill them all for touching you. I…" Brian trailed off, unsure of himself. Justin sighed and met his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Brian looked at him utterly confused.

"What? What are you sorry for?" Brian whispered, pushing Justin's hair out of his face. Justin sighed.

"For… having shit happen to me. For screaming for you. For being here." Justin whispered. Brian frowned. He growled low in the back of his throat. He slowly turned Justin around, so that he was facing him.

"No Justin. Don't you ever apologize for being here. I want you here. I'm glad you screamed for me, because I could find you and save you. And as for shit happening to you… I guess I'll just have to be here to make sure you're safe." Brian whispered, before kissing his forehead again. He pulled Justin close, letting his tears fall into his hair. He felt Justin's tears hit his shirt and he could have cared less.

"Please don't leave tonight. I just. I won't be able to… But I just need you to. Never mind, just forget it. I'll be out on the couch." Justin went to pull away from Brian, but Brian held him close.

"I'm not letting you go Justin." Brian whispered. Justin looked up at him and smiled. Brian leaned down and softly placed his lips upon Justin's. Justin kissed him back cautiously. Brian pulled back and smiled softly. "I'll be right here, as long as you want me to be." Brian whispered. Justin smiled and more tears came to his eyes.

"I want you longer than you'll be willing to give, but I'll take tonight." Justin whispered. Brian frowned, but lay down anyways. Justin lay down next to him, careful not to touch him. Brian hated himself. He rolled over to look at Justin, who was staring at his ceiling, trying to make his breathing even.

"Come here sunshine." Brian said. Justin looked at him, before scrambling in his arms. Justin clung to Brian like he was a lifesaver in the ocean. Brian held Justin close, almost bruising with his tight grip.

"Thank you." Justin whispered. Brian smiled to himself.

"Anytime." He said softly, before falling asleep to the sound of Justin's heartbeat.

When Brian woke he noticed two things. One, his bed was empty and Two Justin was not in his bed. He sat up and looked around. He heard the faucet running and crept towards the bathroom. What he saw killed him. Justin was on the floor, sobbing, his wrist's bleeding and whispering to himself. It was just loud enough for Brian to make out what he was saying.

"Good fucking job Justin. You finally get him to let you become part of his life. He finally acknowledges you and you go and fucking ruin it. Shouldn't have screamed for help, let them kill you. Now he'll never want to be with you again. You were already defective enough, now it's worse. He could never love you." Justin whispered before dragging the blade across his wrist again. Brian walked into the bathroom and grabbed the blade from Justin.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Brian growled. Justin met his eyes hesitantly. Brian sighed and pulled Justin up with him as he stood. They walked out into the kitchen and Brian hoisted Justin up onto the counter. He cleaned his wrist, kissed each of the cuts, and bandaged them. He moved forward in between Justin's legs, not failing to notice when Justin flinched. "Hey sunshine, don't worry. I won't ever hurt you." Brian whispered. Justin nodded.

"I know. I just… reflex you know." Justin replied. Brian smiled.

"It's alright, just trust me." Brian whispered. Justin nodded and Brian leaned in to kiss him. Justin kissed him back and both of them pulled away breathless. Brian kissed Justin's forehead before wrapping his arms around him. "Don't ever fucking do that again, you hear me? I've almost lost you more times than I can stand. I will not have you hurting yourself. If I lose you, my life becomes… meaningless." Brian whispered. Justin looked up as him sharply. He searched Brian's face for something and apparently found it, because he broke out into his smile. "Oh sunshine, you sure do live up to your name don't you?" he whispered before pecking him on the cheek affectionately. Justin grinned.

"Thank you, for not… leaving me." Justin whispered. Brian sighed.

"Justin." He paused waiting for Justin to meet his eyes. "I will never leave you." He said seriously. Justin blushed but broke out into another million watt smile. "Now let's go get some food." He said, pulling Justin off of the counter.

"Brian?" Justin asked as they were in the car. Brian looked at him. "Well, when you found me… how did you… so quickly." Justin asked brokenly as memories of last night coursed through him. Brian reached across the console and threaded Justin's hands through his. Justin looked at their hands, then back at him. Smiling brightly.

"I was looking for you. I heard you screaming my name. So I ran." Brian explained. Justin nodded.

"What were you looking for me for?" Justin asked softly. The parked outside of the diner and Brian got out of the car and came around to open Justin's door.

"I wanted to tell you something." He hedged, unsure of how his confession would be taken. Justin raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask any questions.

"Hey boys.. Oh my god sunshine what happened to you?" deb exclaimed, seeing Justin's maimed cheeks and the bandaging on his wrists. Justin cringed and Brian wrapped an arm around him, holding him securely.

"Um… let's not talk about it deb. He'll take two pancakes with eggs sunny side up and a coffee and I'll have coffee and an order of eggs and hash browns." He said smiling. Deb raised an eyebrow but smiled softly at him.

"Okay boys, coming right up." She said before hustling off to the other customers.

"You know what I order?" Justin said looking up. Brian smiled shyly.

"I… I may have noticed a few things about you." He replied nonchalantly. Justin raised another eyebrow. Then his face shifted into an expression of complete shock.

"Wait… do you… care about me?" Justin asked softly. Brian sighed. He met Justin's eyes, so full of hope. This time Brian couldn't lie.

"Well… Yes." He replied in a whisper. Justin broke out into the biggest and brightest smile Brian had ever seen on his face. Brian couldn't help but smile a little at that. "But if you tell anyone you little twat I will kill you, despite your tight bubble butt." Brian tried to sound threatening, but Justin just laughed at him anyway. Deb came and set their food down, lingering.

"Brian… A word. Now." She said. He looked at Justin before nodding and following her to the kitchen.

"Yes Deb?" He questioned, making sure he could still see Justin from his new spot.

"What the fuck happened to sunshine?" she demanded. Brian sighed.

"Don't freak out." He asked. Deb nodded. "He… these guys at Babylon. They dragged him… they tried to make him do something he didn't want to." He explained. Deb's eyes bugged out of her head.

"You mean they raped him?" she whispered loudly. Brian shook his head.

"No, they were going to though. But I heard him screaming… screaming for me to help him and I found him and.. Yeah." Brian said softly. Deb raised an eyebrow and stared at Brian for a long moment.

"Don't fuck with my sunshine, especially not now… you know he loves you… do you… care about him?" she asked. Brian was about to respond when he saw a figure towering over Justin. He flew from the kitchen. A tall beefy man was standing behind Justin whispering in his ear. Justin was shaking and that's all Brian needed to know before he stormed over.

"Excuse me. Fuck off." Brian said to the man towering over his love. Justin's head shot up and he looked at Brian utterly relieved. The guy growled.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"You're the second person to ask me that when trying to hurt him." Brian growled. He punched the guy in the face and he stumbled back. "I'm his fucking boyfriend, so stay the fuck away." Brian said sternly. The guy nodded furiously, before fleeing the diner. Brian slid both arms around Justin and whispered loving nonsense in his ear, he rubbed circles in Justin's back, hoping to calm him. Deb came over.

"So you do care for him." She said smiling knowingly. Brian smiled down at his blonde love fondly before nodding his head.

"But you can't tell anyone." Justin added in. Brian smiled at that comment. He nuzzled into Justin's neck, placing soft kisses on his neck. Justin smiled and leaned his head back on Brian's chest. "Don't be too nice to me, people might think you like me or something." Justin whispered. Brain chuckled and moved to sit in his chair. He leaned over and kissed Justin's cheek quickly, stealing a bite of his pancakes in the process.

"Holy fucking shit. You little asshole." Deb said. They both looked up at her. "Sunshine… You did it. You actually did it." She whispered. Justin cocked his head to the side confused.

"What did I do?" he asked softly. Deb laughed.

"You broke Brian Kinney." She whispered. Justin looked at Brian, still confused. Brian nodded his head.

"She's right. You managed to make me break every single one of my rules, you managed to worm your way into my life… into my heart." Brian whispered the last part, but both Justin and deb heard.

"What?" Justin asked softly, emotions chocking his voice. Brian took a deep breath before looking at him.

"When I was coming to look for you, I had to tell you something. You see the fact of the matter is.. I realized all you do is wait for me. When I came home yesterday and you didn't come home at all I realized that I could lose you, find you in a dumpster somewhere. I realized how much that hurt to think about. Then I finally accepted a fact I had realized might be true a long time ago… that I'm fucking in love with you." Brian said softly. Deb had tears flowing down her cheeks and Justin looked like he was about to start crying.

"Do you mean it?" he asked, his voice so timid and scared. Brian nodded his head slowly. Justin launched himself at the brunette man. He kissed him with all of the passion he could muster. Brian smiled into the kiss, threading his hands through the silky blonde hair of Justin, pulling him closer. They broke apart and deb was still crying.

"You are such a fucker." Justin said. He kissed Brian lightly on the lips. "I love you too Brian." He said kissing him softly.

"You fucking little fucker. I swear to god you hurt sunshine I'll kill you with my bare hands you asshole." Deb whispered furiously scrubbing at her eyes. Brian tore his eyes away from Justin to look at deb.

"No, don't worry Deb. I'm not planning on hurting my sunshine." He said smiling. Justin's eyes widened and Deb sobbed again. Emmett walked in just then and sat next to Justin.

"What did you do Brian?" he demanded, motioning to the crying woman in front of him.

"Ask Justin, it's his fault." Brian said grinning. Emmett raised his eyebrow in confusion and looked at Justin expectantly. Justin looked at Brian, unsure of what to say. Deb answered for him.

"It's your fault you little shit. You went and fucking fell in love. You stupid fucker." She said, still crying. Emmett's eyes widened and he looked at the two of them. Justin blushed and looked away, his body tense as he waited for Brian's reaction. Brian grinned seeing Justin's worry in the way he held his shoulders. Brian looked at Emmett. He leaned in to kiss Justin's neck, licking a stripe from the nape of his neck to behind his earlobe. He nuzzled into his neck, before standing and leaning over to kiss him on the top of his head and kiss his forehead lovingly. Justin had tears in his eye and Emmett was dumbfounded.

"What?" he asked softly. Emmett and deb still hadn't moved. "Okay yeah so I went and fell in love with the twat, so sue me." Brian said blushing. Emmett broke out into the biggest smile ever and Deb smiled. Justin turned to look at Brian.

"You actually admitted that. In the open. The public. Brian someone might hear." Justin said cautiously. Brian shrugged.

"I stopped caring what people thought of me a long time ago. I stopped caring about my reputation as a cold hearted bastard when you couldn't walk last night." He explained. Deb broke out into new sobs and walked away. Brian tugged Justin along with him as they walked out. Emmett stared after them, still in shock at seeing Brian I-don't-give-a-fuck Kinney openly admit he was in love. IN LOVE. Sure it had been painfully obvious that Brian cared for the kid. But he loved him and was admitting it. That was… a fucking miracle. Emmett met Debs eyes and shook his head in disbelief.

Out on the street Brian had his arm around Justin, holding him close. Justin was awed, Brian just.. Just said he loved him. Didn't deny it. Didn't even try. Actually outright admitted it. Holy shit. "So…" Brian said softly. Justin looked up at him and smiled.

"You called me your boyfriend." Justin whispered, looking at the ground. Brian chuckled.

"That's because you are sunshine. Didn't you know. I've stopped tricking and I know you have too. I don't… I don't want anyone else. Sure it's nice to dance with someone, but when I think about fucking someone. All I can think about is how much more I would rather go home and make love to you." Brian whispered. Justin stared at him dumbfounded. He hugged Brian fiercely. Brian hugged him back just as tightly.

"Thank you." Justin whispered. Brian didn't ask what for, he didn't need to. After being around Justin so much, he understood the blonde and everything that he did. He could discern the emotions Justin was feeling from the strokes of his paintings, from the grip of his paintbrush. Brian knew Justin intimately, though he was loath to admit how intimately that was. They walked down the street for a while, relishing in just being with each other, until they got to a particularly crowded area. Justin started shaking and froze when he was jostled roughly. He stared at Brian fear obvious in his eyes. Brian quickly wrapped his arms around him, encasing his smaller frame in Brian's. He quickly steered them to a less congested part of the area before releasing Justin.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am now. Sorry. I just. I felt like it was them, all around me, touching me." He whispered brokenly. Brian pulled Justin to him and rubbed circles on his back, comforting the distressed kid.

"It's okay. We knew it wasn't going to be all fine and dandy after last night. We will work our way back up to large crowds." Brian said soothingly. Justin smiled.

"Thanks, for understanding. Um… Brian?" Justin asked softly. Brian looked at him.

"Yeah sunshine?" he answered, confused at the pained look on his boyfriends face.

"I… I don't think I'll be able to… you know… for a while. I just. It scares me. You don't scare me, I'm just scared. I feel so fucking stupid, knowing that I can't, but I just. I'm sorry." Justin hung his head in shame. Brian smiled fondly. He reached a hand out to pull Justin's chin up.

"Hey Justin, its okay. I knew this would happen. I don't care if I have to go a few days, weeks, or months without sex. I just care about you being okay." Brian admitted. Justin stared at him.

"Hey, on the bright side I'm sure there are plenty of young men at Babylon for you to release sexual frustrations on." Justin tried to joke. His voice was rough with tears as he said it though. Brian sighed and pulled Justin into him.

"You're a fucking idiot sunshine. I don't want to trick around. I want you. If I have to wait, then so be it. I'm not going to fuck this up. I really do love you sunshine." He whispered. Justin clung to him tightly.

"I love you too Bri." He whispered. Brian grinned.

"Come on. Let's go back home and see what we can find to do." Brian said softly. Justin smiled brightly at him, and even though his face was bruised and cut he was still the most beautiful thing Brian had ever seen. Ever since that night Brian had seen him under the streetlamp, this kid had enthralled him. Slowly, one by one, he managed to get Brian to break every single rule he had ever made for himself. Now. Now there were no rules, only Brian and Justin. Wasn't that fucking scary to think about.

"What are you thinking about?" Justin asked. Brian shook his head and smiled at Justin.

"Just wondering how the fuck I became Brian and Justin." He said softly. Justin's eyes twinkled. They walked back toward the car, but where stopped by Michael.

"Brian!" he yelled. Both men looked up at him. Michael threw a glare at Justin that he thought Brian didn't see. But Brian saw it.

"Hey Michael, what's up?" Brian asked, wrapping his arms around Justin. Michael made a disgusted face and then looked at Brian.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch a movie." Michael asked. He looked at Justin. "Sans boy toy." He sneered. Brian growled, but Justin placed his arm on his, calming him. Brian glared at Michael.

"Actually Justin and I are hanging out today. Sorry." He said, not meaning the sorry one bit. Michaels face grew red with anger.

"You mean you're picking a piece of ass over me?" he asked incredulously. He took a step forward, crowding them. Justin tensed and Brian felt it. Michael was treading on thinner ice than he could have ever imagined.

"You could look at it that way. He's not just a piece of ass though." Brian corrected sternly. Michael laughed.

"Funny Brian. Like you actually care about this piece of shit. Like he means anything to you." Michael reached a hand towards Justin, but Justin flinched, causing Michael to laugh at him. "Oh I'm sorry Justin, don't want to be touched? Look at him, can't even be touched. Why would you want to keep him around?" Michael asked. He slapped Justin across the injured cheek, and before he could even think he was on the ground with Brian crouched over him.

"You ever fucking touch my boyfriend again you little shit I swear to god I will not hesitate to kill you." Brian growled before standing up.

"You're.. B…boy…boyfriend?" Michael asked from the ground. Justin, who had tears streaming down his face, couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah Michael. Apparently you were wrong. Brian Kinney actually cares about me. He's not just pity fucking me and he's not just using me to laugh at behind my back. So fuck you." He said sternly. Brian looked at Justin about to ask a question, but his partner met his eyes and he realized Justin wouldn't last much longer. He glared at Michael before pulling Justin down the sidewalk. Once they reached the car Brian held Justin between it and his body and looked him over carefully. Justin had stopped crying, but was still shaken up. His cut had bled a little more, but the blood was already dry. Brian acted on the long buried romantic that Justin had managed to uncover from within him and licked his thumb to clean off the dried blood.

"What did he say to you?" Brian asked softly. Justin sighed and then chuckled.

"Nothing." He said trying to smile. Brian saw it falter.

"Don't fucking tell me it's nothing Justin. It's something. So tell me." He demanded. Justin sighed.

"Every time we were alone, or you were off doing god knows what, Michael just made sure to let me know that I was never going to mean anything to you. That I would never be important." Justin said, his voice faltering at the end. Brian sighed.

" He knew though. He knew I loved you." Brian whispered. Justin frowned.

"So you're saying…" Justin trailed off looking at Brian. Brian nodded.

"The little fucker tried to take us apart." He growled. Justin full out laughed at that. "How is that funny?" Brian asked a little pissed.

"It's funny, because he was coming at it from the wrong angle." Justin said. Brian cocked his head to the side confused. "Well okay obviously i.. Well I loved you for a long time. If nothing you said was going to get rid of me very easily, then nothing he said was going to either." Justin sighed. "Yet somehow he still got under my skin." He whispered. Brian frowned.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Well, god this is so stupid. Um… he told me that you bought that first drawing I did of you and that you burned it while you fucked some blonde trick. And for some reason that was the only thing that made me feel really shitty. I know it's dumb, but the thought of you buying it just to burn it… well for some reason that struck me deeply." Justin explained. Brian sighed and then blushed.

"Get in the car Blondie." He said, leaning down to deliver a kiss to that delicious mouth. Justin moaned against him and Brian pulled away. "Go on, get in." he said taking Justin around the side and opening his door for him. Justin looked at him confused.

"What?" he asked. Brian sighed irritated.

"Just get in the fucking car Justin." He said sternly. Justin nodded and got in closing the door. Brian walked around the car and got in. he started the car and as soon as he had backed out he reached over and grabbed Justin's hand in his. Justin beamed at him. "You really like all this fuzzy love stuff don't you sunshine?" Brian inquired. Justin blushed and looked away.

"Look, I know who you are. I know you don't do fuzzy. You're not supposed to cuddle. I know what to expect." Justin answered. Brian frowned and shook his head.

"Well, then I will just have to exceed expectations" Brian vowed softly. They pulled up to the loft and got into the elevator. When they entered Brian told Justin to sit on the bed and he went to open the safe. He turned, with his hands behind his back. "I… I wasn't ever planning on showing you this, because I figured you would realize it meant that I had loved you for a long time." Brian said softly. Justin looked at him confused. Brian sighed and slowly removed his hand from his back. Justin gasped.

"You… you… you bought it?" he asked softly. Brian nodded and handed the picture frame over. Justin inspected his drawing, the first drawing he had ever done of Brian. He remembered being awed by the gorgeous brunette, nothing had changed. He smiled brightly.

"I… I don't know. I knew how proud you were of it and something inside of me really wanted it. Not because it was me, but because you had drawn it." Brian whispered as he sat on the bed next to his lover. Justin beamed at him.

"You… are you saying there's a chance you may have liked me… back then?" Justin inquired. Brian sighed and then met his eyes.

"I guess. I mean. I don't know. I think so. You just. I don't know how you did it. No one, I mean no one has the power over me that you have. Even then. I cared about you. The first time I realized I loved you was your prom." Justin cringed at the thought of that. "Then that happened and I was scared, so I didn't say anything." Brian said, for some reason wanting to help Justin understand the way he affected him.

"Is that why you didn't come visit me in the hospital?" Justin asked softly. Brian sighed. He guessed it was time for that truth as well.

"I visited you every night sunshine. I was there from the time I got off of work, until sunrise." Brian said. Justin's eyes widened.

"You mean… you actually came?" Justin asked. Brian nodded. Justin bit his lips and then looked at Brian. "If I tell you something promise not to get mad?" Justin asked. Brian raised his eyebrows, but nodded. He trusted Justin. "Well, you know when that guy was suing you for sexual harassment?" Justin prompted.

"Yeah of course I do." Brian responded. Justin grinned. The sex that week had been angry, but amazing.

"Well you know how it kind of just disappeared?" Justin asked again, this time looking away sheepishly. Brian groaned.

"Sunshine don't tell me you did what I think you did." Brian said groaning. Justin smirked.

"Well, I saw him and decided to try and help you out. So I picked him up and we went back to his place. God he was really turned on by me. We talked about you and I made it clear that I hated you like he did. So I started giving him head and he was really into it, then I started talking. I mentioned how my father had no idea where I was, how pissed he would be. How he would call the police, because I was 17. He asked me if I would actually do that. I said that I wouldn't as long as he dropped the charges against you. And so he dropped the charges." Justin said smiling sheepishly. Brian tugged Justin into his chest.

"Why would you do that?" Brian asked softly. Justin sighed.

"I… I just wanted to help you. I knew you would never know it was me. I… I didn't know any other way I could have been useful." Justin admitted. Brian shook his head.

"You could have been hurt. What if he had hurt you?" Brian whispered. Justin shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't think about stuff like that. I just decided to do it." He said. Brian met his eyes and sighed.

"Don't do that anymore okay? I don't want you hurt." Brian whispered. Justin nodded his head.

"So what do you want to do?" Justin asked. Brian shrugged his shoulder.

"I don't care as long as it involves me and you, and the ability to kiss you." Brian said sternly. Justin chuckled. He leaned up and kissed him passionately. Brian responded, wrapping his arms around the blonde. He picked him up and carried them over to the couch. He broke the kiss and started to suck on Justin's neck, causing the blonde to moan loudly. "Movie?" Brian asked softly. Justin smirked and nodded. Brian untangled himself from Justin and walked over to the DVD player and put in 'a yellow submarine'. He walked back over and situated himself on the couch so that his head was in Justin's lap. Justin grinned down at him and ran his fingers through Brian's hair.

"Hmm. You're spoiling me." Justin said as the movie started. Brian chuckled.

"I'm known for that didn't you know?" Brian mumbled. Justin laughed and continued to massage Brian's head. Brian felt himself relaxing so much he was on the brink of sleep. "Hmm sunshine?" he murmured, half asleep.

"Yeah?" Justin asked, sounding just as asleep as Brian was.

"I love you." He whispered, before slipping off into a dream. Justin soon followed. They woke three hours later, with Brian sitting straight up.

"Holy shit." Justin said at the sudden motion. Brian looked over and saw Justin looking guilty with his sketchbook in hand. Brian chuckled.

"What were you drawing?" he asked, reaching out for the sketchbook. Justin sighed and handed it over, tingeing pink. Brian looked down at his own sleeping face, inspecting his features. He looked up a Justin. "This is really good. Is that really how you see me?" Brian asked. There was something about the drawing that just showed that Justin loved him, it was like it was tangible in the drawing. Justin blushed.

"Yes." He whispered. Brian grinned. He leaned over to kiss Justin lovingly.

"It looks… well it looks like you love me." Brian said, unsure of how to say what he was feeling. Justin smiled. He took the sketchbook and set it on the table. He then climbed over to Brian and straddled his lap. Brian was already hard.

"I do, let me show you." Justin whispered huskily. Brian nodded and Justin leaned in to attach his lips. They kissed passionately before Brian pulled away. Justin stared at him confused, but before he could say anything Brian explained.

"I don't want to push you until you are ready." He explained. Justin nodded and smiled at him.

"Thanks." He whispered, before kissing Brian again. Brian kneaded his ass making Justin groan. The phone rang and Justin climbed unhappily off of his partner. Justin watched as Brian walked over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Brian said. His brows creased and Justin realized he was irritated. Justin grinned. He crept over and started sucking on Brian's chest. He slowly made his way down Brian's body as Brian stared at him awed. "Umm. I'm sorry could you… repeat that?" Brian gasped as Justin nuzzled his erection. Brian glared halfheartedly at him, Justin smirked and undid Brian's jeans with his teeth. Brian gasped as Justin took his into his mouth all the way to the base. "Oh god. Sorry. Umm yeah. That sounds… fuck… that sounds good." Brian ground out. Justin used every trick he could, he had perfected a method that had Brian cumming in no more than three minutes. "No, sorry nothing. Oh god…" Brian had grasped his hair and was fucking his mouth now. Justin grinned around his cock. Brian growled when Justin dragged his teeth the way that had Brian cumming in no time. "I'm sorry I have to go." Brian said, he hung up the phone and grabbed Justin's hair and started fucking his mouth in earnest. A few seconds later he was coming and Justin swallowed every drop. He looked up to see that Brian still had his eyes shut in ecstasy. He quickly zipped Brian up and stood. Brian grabbed him and kissed him within an inch of his life. "You fucker." He whispered fondly. Justin grinned.

"You're irresistible, I cannot help it." Justin said, flashing him the grin that earned him his nickname. Brian groaned.

"You're going to be the death of me." Brian whispered. Justin chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. They made their way back over to the couch and Brian wrapped Justin securely in his arms again. "We should probably eat soon." Brian said. Justin sighed and nodded.

"Not yet though, I just want to lay here, with you." Justin whispered. Brian smiled and grinned widely when he saw the blush on Justin's cheeks. He knew Justin expected to get yelled at the second he said anything sappy, but Brian accepted it. He liked the sappy things, though he was loath to admit it. He could definitely let them slip. The warm fuzzy feeling in his chest made him hold in any harsh comment that would have come out, because he liked it too. He finally understood why Justin always tried to crawl into his arms, why Justin acted like someone had just crowned him king when Brian held his hand. It felt good. It felt like love. It was love.

"Mmm I can agree with you there." Brian whispered. He held Justin to him, slipping his hands under Justin's shirt, just to feel the skin. Justin broke out in goose bumps as Brian ran his hands over his torso.

"You're torturing me." He whispered. Brian chuckled and withdrew his hands to hold Justin's face between them. He caressed Justin's cheeks with his thumbs and leaned in to kiss him deeply.

"You torture me all the time sunshine." 

FIN


End file.
